From the moment my eyes opened on Sunday, I was gripped by the Sunday Scaries.
It wasn't even Monday yet, but I was already dreading the next morning when my alarm would go off and I'd have to start all over again. That familiar knot in my stomach, that heaviness in my chest—you may have felt this at some point too, right? The dread of the monotony and grind that awaits you come Monday morning.
I was nearly five years into what, from the outside, was considered a dream job. A Fortune 100 company. A company car. A great salary. All the boxes checked on the cultural roadmap to success. And yet, I was miserable.
The Cultural Roadmap That Led Nowhere
I had followed the script perfectly. Get your bachelor's degree from a prestigious university. Land the Fortune 100 job right after graduation. Earn the promotions and climb the ladder. I did everything I was supposed to do.
For years, I had worked my ass off for this company and had the metrics and business contracts to show it. But too many times, credit had been given to someone else. Too many times, metrics had been changed at the last minute and bonuses were lost. Too many times, I had been given bad advice from my manager.
I was desperate for something more, and I was mad at both myself and the world for not having found it there.
The Search for Meaning
And yet, despite all the external markers of success, it wasn't what I wanted. I needed more. I needed what I think all of us, in our heart of hearts, truly want.
I wanted MEANING.
I didn't want to just be a number at a huge corporation. I wanted to be known. I wanted to make IMPACT. I wanted to be the leader I knew was inside of me, desperate for his moment to shine.
The Sunday Scaries weren't just about dreading work—they were my soul's way of telling me I was living someone else's definition of success. I was climbing a ladder that was leaning against the wrong wall.
The Breaking Point
What happened next would shock anyone who knew me at the time. It took nearly losing my life for me to finally take action. That story—the accident that changed everything—is one I'll share soon. But what I can tell you now is this: sometimes the universe has a way of forcing your hand when you're too afraid to make the move yourself.
That near-death experience became the catalyst for everything that followed. It was the moment I stopped asking "What should I do?" and started asking "What do I actually want?"
The Birth of Hope
That question led me down a path I never expected. It led me to understand that hope isn't just a feeling—it's a practice. It's a choice you make every single day to believe that something better is possible and to take action toward it.
The Hope Man wasn't born from success. He was born from desperation, from Sunday Scaries, from the realization that a "dream job" can become a nightmare when it's not aligned with your purpose.
Today, I help content creators document their lives authentically through social attention marketing. I co-founded Synergy Collab with a vision to connect and collaborate with some of the world's greatest. And through HOPE.dev and the Hope To Light Foundation, I get to bring hope to others who might be exactly where I was—stuck, scared, and searching for meaning.
Your Turn
If you're reading this and feeling that familiar Sunday dread, I want you to know something: that feeling isn't weakness. It's wisdom. It's your inner voice telling you that you were made for more.
You don't have to wait for a near-death experience to give yourself permission to change. You can start today. You can start by asking yourself what you actually want, not what you think you should want.
The path from nightmare to purpose isn't easy, but I promise you—it's worth every step.
This is Part 1 of my origin story. In Part 2, I'll share how a near-death accident on a cold, rainy drive to Seattle became the turning point that changed everything.
